Haven’t been in a long time!

I have always asked for a big bang, for something consistent, something different and for something that I’m finally gonna keep.. It’s within my reach now. Too early to tell but too happy to snap back. Too scared to think forward but too contented to look back.

I am as unpredictable as the weather. I am as inconsistent as change. I am so confusing like calculus. And most of all, I am so scared as courage, the cowardly dog. I have no right to presume that things would often go the way I love to imagine it when I can’t even hold on to something longer than a second. Being idle bores me. I move around too much. Even rollercoasters bore me now. I need something more. I need THIS to never stop.

This, the feeling of just laughing my heart out; the feeling of blissful oblivion; the feeling of being in a new adventure; the feeling of a warmer flame; the feeling of something I became numb about.. Just this.. i love feeling this. For how long? I don’t know.. I usually runaway from this. For how long? it’s indefinite. Maybe soon, maybe later, maybe…

I used to hate this feeling. I usually run away from this. I never really opened myself for possibilities.. I just didn’t want to. I was just too numb to care.

Something tells me, there is always an exception. That there would always be someone to prove me wrong. There would always come a time wherein I never would have wanted anything else. There would always be someone that no one else could compare.

There was once a player who met another player.. Both tried to play the game fair and right but the other yielded and waved the flag. The other kept the fight alone.

Now, it’s an assassin meeting another assassin.. Whose heart would get stolen? Whose gonna survive? Would both want to leave the assassin life? Would both want to leave the past behind?

It’s too mushy. I am springing back to reality.!

blogging on iphone is painstakingly weird.


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